Lisa good for happiness and having fun!

"What an incredible experience this was for us all together. We were each given a special title of a song to start. When I heard mine, "What Am I Good For", I didn’t even want to think about it because I had no idea. Was this a hypothetical question, was it something I could remember being told or some profession I felt was for me? It never really occurred to me that I had never really felt good enough for anything big. Sure I had accomplishments growing up, awards and certificates. But when I often tried to dream bigger i got stuck or backed out early because of limiting beliefs. I wanted to dream big and feel big self pride but was frozen in many ways.

I was directed to write down everything that came up during my song writing process and not erase any of it. One of the keys to writing a good song is to tell a story. As I began to write my heart ached at the low self worth I felt through my experiences. My childhood had shaped my beliefs in a way that I looked for control, perfection and pleasing others with their approval unconsciously. What a hell. I didn’t know what direction I wanted to go next in life after making huge choices this last year to leave my old life in pursuit of a truer happiness. I was still reliant on others opinions in ways. Not knowing what I was truly good for next. The first Choice OS workshop changed my life and opened my heart in unexplainable ways to my family and life. I know reprogramming my core subconscious beliefs to truly serve my hearts happiness would take years but I didn’t realize my lingering beliefs about my self worth were holding me back so deeply. Dreaming big was still just a concept. I believed that if I wanted to go for something, someone had already done it before and even better, so what’s the point? Basically I was giving up on life unconsciously. What a terribly worthless, depressing way to think.

I see now that no matter where I go or what I choose in life. Just choosing something and going all the way is bringing me pride already.  Giving myself a happy life and enjoying my life is all I need and it’s more than good enough for me. No matter what I do I can choose to live my happy life just taking care of me and forgetting about social standards. My happiness means the world to me and I’ve learned it’s the only ends to a mean in life. No one can take that from me. I now finally began to dream bigger. That is freedom! Growing up my mom did the best she could with what she had. There’s nothing to forgive, everyone wants to love and be loved. Sometimes they just don’t know how. Those harboring the most anger and fear are the ones who need it the most. My mother experienced hardships and put that on her kids at times because she was unconsciously repeating beliefs she experienced and engraved as a child. There is nothing to forgive and I do honor her completely for her strong heart and my fathers heart. Regardless of the challenging times in our family. This song writing process has helped me in many ways. I gained more confidence in my voice, speaking and singing my truth from the heart. I learned to come out of my shell, that yes I shall be envied! Expressing my heart feels vulnerable and so good! I can say the strength and beauty that comes with it is irreplaceable. Forever grateful for my mythic life!!! Thank you Tierra Mitica 💜"

Lisa Madrigal-Craddick  

What Am I Good For

I have a question in my mind,
What am I truly good for?

When I was just a little girl,
this question never came up.
I could just dream and not think twice,
creating plays in the yard.

With all my little sisters,
riding my bike around the block,
Climbing and eating oranges,
til I was full and sated.

I didn't question anything, 
life was so sweet and simple. 
I would make gifts for those I loved,
It felt so good to feel their joy. 

Art was my best discovery,
a way to even like the church. 
And then this question came up, 
what am I truly good for?

My day became a life of chores, 
and everything had to be right. 
I would be kept home just to clean,
and miss a day at school. 

Mommy was never satisfied, 
and she would yell at daddy.
And we’d be chased around the room,
with leather belts and wooden spoons. 

She tried to teach us to be good,
with punishment and anger. 
Kneel on the floor on scattered rice,
with bars of soap shoved in our mouths.

So I was good for pleasing her, 
my question sort of answered. 
I wanted so to please my mom,
be truly good for something. 

So I would try and try and try, 
to do my chores all right. 
Soon I was good for pleasing her, 
to do things right and shut my mouth. 

Being so afraid of punishment, 
I never was too loud. 
Afraid to laugh or speak my mind, 
hell could break loose at anytime. 

Then I rebelled against it all,
and ran away from life. 
Drinking a lot and partying more, 
escaping all the drama. 

I could no longer make a choice, 
of where to go in life. 
I have a question in my mind, 
what am I truly good for?

I am trying to find what it is, 
but nothing comes to mind. 
I am truly sad that I am blank,
nothing comes in my mind. 

I feel frustrated all the time, 
afraid I’m good for nothing. 
The only thing that I can think,
I’m good for pleasing others.

I feel like shit to always ask,
this same eternal question. 
This question that is in my mind,
what am I truly good for?

And now an answer comes to mind,
A one that makes me happy:

I know something I’m good for,
I’m good for myself. 
Giving myself everything I need,
and taking care of me. 
To give myself a happy life,
is all I really need. 
To have fun and enjoy myself,
a great life for me. 
My question answered I do smile,
and swing my hips around. 
I'm good for something don’t you see?
I'm good for something big! 
To live a life of happiness, 
a life where I am free. 

I know something I’m good for,
I'm good for myself. 
Giving myself everything I need. 
and taking care of me. 
To give myself a happy life,
is all I really need. 
To have fun and enjoy myself,
a great life for me. 
My question answered, I do smile,
and swing my hips around. 
Im good for something don’t you see?
I'm good for something big! 
To live a life of happiness, 
a life where I am free!!!!!

Oh Yeah!