Damien singing his heart.

This is the second release from the Advanced Choice: "Finding A Home" by Damien Saul!

" I hit a lot of resistance initially to singing my song. Partly due to the content of it, that stirred up old matters, and partly due to restrictive beliefs I carried about my perceived inability to sing aloud and also to sing to certain styles of music. I was supported, in the workshop, and pushed to break through the resistance, and it's one of the best things I've ever done for myself. I made myself very proud. I now sing my song on a daily basis and both my voice and confidence are improving every day."

Finding A Home

Ragged memories abound of a home where all was right.
Bathing in the kitchen sink, planting apple seeds with my brother.
Playing frisbee in the streets with the vinyl records of my mother.
Ragged memories abound, lots of shit flying around

I was only 3 years old, lost my mom and lost my home.
Was in care when I was told that my mommy couldn't cope.
Naughty boys and little terrors told we were too much of a handful.
We were told that she was dead and we would never return home.
Said we wouldn’t see her again, and I just couldn't believe it.

Ragged memories abound, lots of shit flying around

Went to live with Nan and Grand dad, missing mom, dad, and my home.
Nan and Grand dad were angry, blaming dad for mommy’s death.
Grand dad made it hard for him, so he never came to see us.
I could not accept the facts, sure that they would come to collect me.

I was feeling torn apart, because it never happened.
Moving to a country home, started at a primary school.
Bullied by my older brother, always crying myself to sleep.
Banged my head against the walls, home was living hell and more.

Ragged memories abound, lots of shit flying around.

We were sent to foster home, again too much of a handful.
Always being so confused, rejected and abandoned.
So much torment and abuse, it’s a hell I can’t escape from.
Why doesn’t anybody rescue me, from this hell I can’t get out of.

This was not a home but a prison, they all took their pain out on me.
I was chased around the house, and beaten with bamboo.
I went to school and tried to hide that my body was black and blue.
I just wanted to die, cutting myself with blades.
Being told how useless I am, always in the way.

I’d lost my brother long ago, he went to stay in a pervert’s home.
Long after he told what was done to him.
The man sat in the kitchen, a cherished friend and all.
Nan and Grand dad didn’t care of all they knew and heard.
Always being so confused, abandonned and abused.

I moved to another home, another kind of hell.
I had two great best friends, my dog and a bag of weed.
To my dog I could talk, and with weed I could forget.
And then I got a job, and so I could escape.

And then I fell in love,
Thought everything would change.
I added two more friends, more drugs and alcohol.
I couldn't really love, so anger was my game.
And then I left for good, and traveled around the world.

Finding a home / No more alone
Finding a home / Impossible to dream

I traveled all around,
and fell in love some more.
But I could not believe, that I could find a home.

I moved and worked a lot,my heart was closed to all.
I could not love at all, but I could rage no more.
I chose that I’d forgive, and feel so much no more.
I couldn’t feel the love, but stopped feeling the hate.
I always ran away from any chance to feel.

And then I found a place and truly got to love.
A woman and a home, began to feel again.

Finding a home / No more alone
Finding a home / A dream that can come true.
          
I have found myself an angel,
She’s the sweetest I could dream.
I have broken all the defenses, something changed inside of Me.
Full of rage for what had happened, but with love inside my heart.

And at last I could feel passion and sing it to the skies! 
I have found my home and passion, and I know for sure at last.
It’s my choice to be grateful, for the lessons of my life.

We feel you brother.